The Weight of Silence
The world of special needs parenting is broad and diverse. Some of us are thrust into a world where we’re forced to wear the special needs banner day in and day out.
However, those of us whose children have invisible disorders—high functioning autism, ADHD, mental health issues, and more—have a choice about broadcasting our special need status. Do we choose to stay silent, to blend into the crowd, or do we choose to align ourselves with the special needs population?
3 Reasons We Stay Silent
There can be stigma associated with invisible disorders, especially mental health issues. Historically, people have regarded anxiety and depression as character flaws. They often are subject to comments like 'If your child wasn’t weak, she wouldn’t be anxious.” Or “If you trusted God more, you wouldn’t be depressed.” There can be shunning that comes along with any invisible disorder. You’re different. You “ride the special bus”—used as a pejorative. As parents, we also receive blame. People say things like, “If your child has anxiety, it’s because you’ve been an abusive parent, or at the very least, a bad one.”
Who needs that? It’s easier to keep our mouths shut.
We don’t want our kids to label and therefore limit themselves. Autism doesn’t mean you can’t have friends. It doesn’t mean you can’t have empathy, we think. If my child wears his diagnosis like a name tag, he may use it as an excuse for why he doesn’t have to reach out to make friends, have to have compassion for others, or excel at his studies.
We want our kids to achieve their full potential. Why shout out diagnosis instead of ignoring it and hoping for the best?
Are you a Christian parenting an individual with mental illness? Join the Eleventh Willow private Facebook support group to meet other parents who understand. Let’s help each other walk this path.
Photo by Nadine Shaabana on Unsplash