Off the Beaten Path
I’m an experienced mom. I’ve been one for twenty-two years. I’m also experienced at parenting children with invisible disabilities. I’ve been that for twenty-two years as well. But most of the time I’m still floundering, wondering what to do, how to cope, and how to help my children move forward.
Mental illness and autism are similar in that they both remove a person from the expected path of life—high school, college, job, marriage, babies—and into something completely different. And they do this behind the scenes. To look at my children, it’s not apparent why they are struggling. They look fine.
But sometimes they just can’t do the thing.
Every time we come to a roadblock, a place where one of my children balks at progressing, I feel panicked. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to help. Do I let them play video games around the clock because it helps them feel better? Do I force them to go outside and play, knowing that they’ll come back in 20 minutes with a severe headache because it was more than they could do? Do I seek answers in medication? Therapy? Prayer? Special diets? Vitamins?
The truth is, there are not always answers. Whatever solution I come up with is not going to be the right one because I can’t fix this. I can’t. I can’t make my kids not be autistic. I can’t make them not be depressed. I can’t make them free from anxiety. I can’t make them think clearly when their minds just can’t do it.
Can medication help? Of course. Can therapy help? Certainly. And so can prayer, special diets, vitamins, and a host of other solutions that people apply to make things better. All of those things have been helpful.
So why do I still feel frantic every time one of my children goes off the rails?
Are you a Christian parenting an individual with mental illness? Join the Eleventh Willow private Facebook support group to meet other parents who understand. Let’s help each other walk this path.
Photo by Ian Taylor on Unsplash